Gretel - Job Search Burnout? Get Unstuck and Re-Inspired

As The Job Search Guru, I certainly talk to my share of frustrated job seekers who are stuck and losing confidence in finding what they want.

I understand. Modern job searches can take a real toll on job seekers and it can feel overwhelming.

Resumes disappear into black holes and you’re lucky to get a response of any kind.

Recruiters miss calls and you can’t talk to a hiring manager.

And when you do get interviews, they make you jump through hoops with their processes.

It’s hard to get honest feedback and sometimes they don’t even tell you that you didn’t get the job.

This can make you feel powerless, resentful, even angry and your self-confidence takes a hit.

That state of mind never sets you up for a good interview and job offer.

So if you’re feeling stuck or discouraged, now is the time to manage that.

The good news is that it is possible to shift your attitude and energy around your job search and get yourself moving from frustrated and resigned to optimistic and encouraged, which is the mindset you need for a successful job search.

If this is where you are, take a long, slow deep breath, and here are some thoughts that help you start shifting yourself you back to the positive:

Accept that external happenings in your job search are beyond your control.

Yes, there are things you can do to improve your chances and tell a stronger story with better branding, but you can’t make people choose you.

There is rejection and frustration in a job search. That's the reality of it. 

So try to let it go.

You can’t make anyone do what you want. Not companies, not recruiters and not hiring managers, They will do what they want., what they think is best for them. 

And, in any job search, there will be miscommunications and disappointments. Hiring has a lot of elements and balls can be dropped or steps skipped.

Instead of resisting and letting it get to you, accept that this is what is, and then work on what you can change: you and what you choose to focus on.

This is pretty much where every kind of change in the world starts… with you.

Rethink what you’re looking for.

When you’re stuck, take time to think about what you really want in your job and your life. If you’ve lost your excitement about what’s next, you may just need some time to recalibrate and refocus and get a fresh start.

Don’t worry about trying to predict the economy, or where you  might get the most money, or any of those external things you can’t control.

Instead, look at what’s important to you and what isn’t, and what you love to do and the life you want to have and give yourself a do-over.

Tell a new story about your situation.

When you find yourself complaining or blaming others or being negative about the state of your job search, it’s time for a new story.

Psychologists call it reframing as you learn to see something problematic from a different perspective.

So if you feel stuck, look at the story you’re telling about it, to other people or just to yourself (self-talk is a powerful thing).

If you keep saying “I’m having a terrible time and feel like I’m never going to get a job” then stop yourself. Don't describe a situation or future you don't want. 

That’s just a story you are believing as if it’s the “truth” but it’s actually just an interpretation you made up. Really. 

Pick a better story, like “I’m learning so much about not giving up here, I know it will be worth it because I'm getting clearer on what I have to offer.”

Write your own story and reframe how you interpret the things that happen.

Be gracious with everyone you encounter. 

Most people are doing the best they can.

That recruiter who seems not to know the details of the job might be handling the work of two people right now.

The hiring manager who canceled your interview might be dealing with a family emergency.

The executive may be playing hard to get and being vague because she knows the company is about to make an announcement that would affect that job.

Cut people some slack in this process because you don’t know what’s going on for them and (perhaps more important) because it keeps you feeling better about your job search.

Don’t vent your frustration on social media.

Do not – I repeat DO NOT – whine or complain on social media about your job woes. If you need to, get input keep it to a pertinent  private group or go anonymous on GlassDoor or Reddit.

And whatever you do, don’t spread your complaints on business sites like LinkedIn.  Companies don’t want to hire complainers or whiners, and we should all know by now that what you say there will last forever and might come back to haunt you later.

In fact, complaining in general is not helpful when you're in job search mode. 

Believe me, I know that's easier said than done,  but it really helps to give up public complaining than when you’re looking for a job. 

It's better for your reputation, and it's also better for your state of mind. 

Don’t take it personally.

Hiring decisions are business decisions, and you are being evaluated on the information you present, what the company can find out about you, and how you stack up against the other candidates.

The company’s goal is to hire the best person for their needs, and if that’s not you, it’s because they think someone else is a better choice for their team.

It’s totally okay to be disappointed at not getting a job you really want but regroup and move on and don’t let it ruin you.

Don’t waste any more energy toward how you think it “should” be.

Hiring people is hard and complicated and few companies do it well.

Many hiring managers are inexperienced or have a gazillion other things they’re accountable for. Others are ridiculously particular or unrealistic about requirements.

And the sheer volume of responses to openings nowadays (imagine getting 2,000 applications for one job?!) clogs the pipes of the system.

So again, cut people and the process some slack.

You have no control over their processes and what's going on in their world.

And while certainly there are ways to work around some barriers, it all works better if you can let go of your frustrations, which will actually make you become a stronger candidate because you aren't stewing in resentment. 

Identify where you’re getting stuck and work on that.

No response to your resume?

Your resume might have issues. It could be be old-fashioned or confusing or missing important information or not hitting the mark or not telling a story.

Or you might be applying to the wrong jobs (I use the 80% rule: if you don’t have 80% of the requirements, don’t bother, it's probably not a great use of your time).

Getting first interviews but not being moved forward?

You may not be coming across well or haven’t prepared with your answers and stories in advance. Winging it in interviews is very risky. 

Take time to script your stories so you're ready to answer any question with confidence.

Making it to the final two or three but not getting the offer?

Kudos for doing a good job and being a contender! The decision between top candidates often comes down to personality or minor preferences so unless you did something wrong, be encouraged that you made the final round.

And you might also get some input and support from a job search coach or people in your field or a mentor with hiring experience who will be honest with you  in seeing where you might improve. 

Most important, focus on staying positive and optimistic.

Keep your spirits up however you can, because that will make your search go faster and make you more likely to win the offer.

Sometimes that means spending more time on your search to reenergize it, and sometimes it means taking a break for a couple of weeks and giving yourself a reset.

Either way, the most important piece is staying positive. 

And when you learn how to shift your attitude from frustrated back to hopeful and excited for your job search — just by changing your story about it with reframing and managing your focus — you can use this new ability in all the areas of your life and the effects of that will ripple out into other areas of your life.